A Night of Smooth Jazz

My apologies. I must join many of my friends and, too, pass along my apologies for not posting more often. I've been bitten by the Facebook bug and, much to my wife's chagrin, can't stay away from it. I'm drawn to it like the inevitable head turn as you pass an accident on the side of the road. Like a moth to a flame. You get the picture.

Had a great evening with my good friend Jay on Thursday night. Met up at the Kirk casa, said "Hi" to Caryn and Harper, and hit the road for dinner and the Joshua Redman trio Jazz show. I've never attended a Jazz concert, though I've heard it plenty on the radio (I also find myself drawn more and more to public radio/classical music stations the older I get).

The concert was quite the experience and I had a great time. I had the lamb curry over rice. A plate of warm Hummus and pita bread started things off. All very classy and, mixed with the great company I had, proved a winning combination for a great evening.

As we were walking out that night, I remarked to Jay that "Between this concert and the Brittany Spears concert ongoing at the Tacoma Dome, I think we made the right choice."

Lost About "Lost"

My wife and I love the show "Lost" on ABC. We started watching it from the beginning and were almost immediately hooked. It's new and different. A character-driven story that doesn't seem to rely on the "sure fire" formula for today's TV success. It seems shows today are either tough cop shows, some version of a CSI, a reality show, or about lawyers. "Lost" stands out in stark contrast.

This season has been a bit slow, though. Granted, the storyline creates a challenge (timetravel is tough to do right), and it's tough to live up to last season. I'm having a hard time getting in the groove. Last Wednesday's episode linked most of the group together again. Hopefully they'll settle into their rhythm and get things going again. Otherwise, I'll have to tune into "CSI: Fresno" or something.

The Jell-O Challenge

Back from the latest 10-day trip East. We flew most of the time with another crew from another squadron and were, for the most part, put through the wringer. One of the crew members passed along a funny story from his deployed days last year I'd like to pass along to you.

When you're deployed for 4 months and you begin to settle into a rhythm, the human brain (at least the guy brain) begins to look for new things to occupy it. This is where some people get in trouble. Some folks channel this desire for stimulation in creative ways. This fella and his friends were at the chow hall one day and got to discussing crazy diets and nutrition. Someone was eating jell-o and took a look at the nutrition content. Now, this was the sugar free jell-o, the snackpacks of 10 calories each.
"Hey, I wonder if you could survive on these for a day?"
This innocent question spawned more creative debate. "How many of them would one need to eat for 2000 calories (average required for your standard man)?" "Would you need to mix it up with multiple flavors?" "What would a diet like that do to you?"

Unfortunately, the last question there was not asked, or at least not thought all the way through. This gentlemen, sufficiently challenged by his peers, set out on the "Jell-O Challenge" the next day. Each snackpack of Jell-O contains 10 calories--200 for a 2000 calorie diet. He only did it for one day and passed along some thoughts on this diet you should consider if my description of it has interested you in the slightest:

- 200 snackpacks in a day weighs in at just over 40 pounds of Jell-O. He was able to eat about 70 snackpacks. That's over 14 pounds. Respectable.
- At some point, the body says, "Oh great, more Jell-O. I'm still working on the last batch, so let's just let this batch right on through." Zero digestion. I believe he said you could almost put it in a bowl and right back in the refrigerator, though I don't know why you would want to.
- You'll want to stay away from the green Jell-O. See above observation for why.
- It's a strange feeling to be full yet not mentally satisfied with what you've eaten. It's like eating Chinese food and then being hungry again in an hour, but taken to a whole new level.

Ironically, after eating 14 pounds of Jell-O in one day, he still lost 3 pounds. "That gives you an idea about how my day went."

Dads Can Be So Cruel

So about 4 months ago I took my two youngest out for a little time with Dad. "Time with Dad," or as my wife calls it, "Goof off time," is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're going to get. We stopped by the grocery store and picked up a loaf of bread and headed down the street to the decorative ponds just outside our neighborhood. These ponds are home to scores of ducks and geese. These ducks and geese appear to be permanently "on the dole," living the life of Riley while being constantly fed bread by saps like me. Nature's "Stimulus Package" I suppose. But I digress...

Anyhoo, we hopped out with our bread in hand and thus began the feeding frenzy. Frenzy was right. Those ducks and geese must have had a slow bread day up to that point. They were on us before we knew what was happening. My daughter began growing uneasy at this point which, of course, is my cue as a father to do something mildly cruel to her but immensely funny to me. I waited until she was preoccupied with one geese (who, by the way, are pretty mean) when I dropped a particularly appetizing bread chunk right behind her. A large geese took the bait and moved in. Just as the geese grabbed for the bread I told my daughter to look behind her. She didn't like that one bit. Next thing I know I'm wearing my daughter as a hat. I told her the same thing my Dad used to tell me, "Geese don't have teeth...they won't hurt you." It's hard to believe that when those things have your finger two knuckles deep down their throat.

I thought it was pretty funny and I thought she did too after sufficient time had passed to dull the fear she'd felt that day. I talked with her about it today. She still doesn't think it's funny. In fact, she said, "I mean, what kind of father would do that?"

"One who loves you very much, girl. " I told her one day she'd laugh.

"Not likely."

"Well...your kids will if you ever tell them about it."

My son chimed in at this point. "Yeah," he said, "I'll make sure your kids know all about it!"

Kids are so much fun.

More Snow

We had a stretch of about 4 days last week of highs in the upper 50s and sunny skies. I think one day even touched 60. For here that's Spring weather (shoot, sometimes that's Summer weather!). Woke up this morning to a fair dusting of snow on the ground. My wife and I have decided that we both belong where it's warm. No offense, Todd my friend, but wearing a sweater in June is not my idea of Heaven. I like to break a goodly sweat in November, get a suntan in March, and wear shorts at Christmas. That's just me.

I've found myself pondering retirement from the Air Force as, sadly, the majority of my career now is behind me rather than in front of me. I've been blessed to have seen a large portion of this great land and have a new project to think about--where to retire? South Carolina tugs at the heartstrings...I guess a piece of me will always call it home. Probably won't be Columbia, though. Coach Yawn used to call Columbia "the armpit of South Carolina--no ocean like Charleston and no cool weather like Spartanburg." That was when he wasn't paddling folks with his boat oar. Texas is really nice, especially around San Antonio. Hot is the word there, though. Good Mexican food, George Strait, cowboy hats as accepted fashion accents, and pickups. Florida is warm but a bit crowded. Virginia? North Carolina? What about the deep South? Alabama?

Anyone else thinking that far ahead? Am I showing my age?

10 Things I Learned This Week

I had the pleasure (?) of participating in a mobility exercise this past week which consisted of trying to operate aircraft in a fictitious location while getting attacked in various and sundry ways. It was educational for me in many ways, ways I'd like to share with you right now:

1. You can drink coffee all day. I figure Rick knows this already, but it was news to me.

2. MREs, which stands for "Meals Ready to Eat," have come a long, long way. I had a Veggie Burger in tomato sauce on Thursday that was not half bad. I'm not real sure what vegetable is square, brown, and tastes like a hamburger, though.

3. Coffee left cooking at the bottom of the pot will keep you extra awake when you drink it.

4. When it's cold outside and you go pee in a porta john, the steam that comes up is pee, too.

5. Wearing chemical protection suits for 3 hours is no, I repeat no, fun.

6. You get used to body odor after 3 days and become blissfully unaware. Others, however, still remain painfully aware.

7. No one should have to get up at 4 a.m...ever.

8. It's possible to be so tired that you can't get to sleep, though it may have something to do with drinking coffee at 5 o'clock in the afternoon.

9. 9-year-old boys think these mobility exercises are the coolest thing in the world. My youngest boy asked me if I got to carry a weapon. I told him that the next time I was going to requisition a grenade launcher and carry it like Arnold did in Terminator 2.

10. A burger king Angry Whopper has got it all over a Veggie Burger (and with only 800 more calories!).

Shootin' Hoops

My youngest had his first basketball game at the Y today. To my great enjoyment, he scored the first 3 baskets for his team and finished with 10 of his team's 18 points. He was an animal, running up and down the floor, dominating on both offense and defense. Of course, I cheered louder than anyone and sat back with no small measure of fatherly pride. Good genes. He isn't inflicted with a case of the "slows" like his dad, though. NBA, here we come...

Been crazy-busy at work getting ready for a big mobility exercise next week. Had to come in at 0345 this morning (on a Saturday!) to process through the mobility line. This consists of various checks of your equipment and gear...lots to "hurry up and wait." Chuck, you probably remember those days, right? Being 40 now, I needed a 2 hour nap this afternoon to get me back in fightin' trim. I get to sleep in tomorrow morning. It's the small things one looks forward to.