Saturday, February 28, 2009

Dads Can Be So Cruel

So about 4 months ago I took my two youngest out for a little time with Dad. "Time with Dad," or as my wife calls it, "Goof off time," is like a box of never know what you're going to get. We stopped by the grocery store and picked up a loaf of bread and headed down the street to the decorative ponds just outside our neighborhood. These ponds are home to scores of ducks and geese. These ducks and geese appear to be permanently "on the dole," living the life of Riley while being constantly fed bread by saps like me. Nature's "Stimulus Package" I suppose. But I digress...

Anyhoo, we hopped out with our bread in hand and thus began the feeding frenzy. Frenzy was right. Those ducks and geese must have had a slow bread day up to that point. They were on us before we knew what was happening. My daughter began growing uneasy at this point which, of course, is my cue as a father to do something mildly cruel to her but immensely funny to me. I waited until she was preoccupied with one geese (who, by the way, are pretty mean) when I dropped a particularly appetizing bread chunk right behind her. A large geese took the bait and moved in. Just as the geese grabbed for the bread I told my daughter to look behind her. She didn't like that one bit. Next thing I know I'm wearing my daughter as a hat. I told her the same thing my Dad used to tell me, "Geese don't have teeth...they won't hurt you." It's hard to believe that when those things have your finger two knuckles deep down their throat.

I thought it was pretty funny and I thought she did too after sufficient time had passed to dull the fear she'd felt that day. I talked with her about it today. She still doesn't think it's funny. In fact, she said, "I mean, what kind of father would do that?"

"One who loves you very much, girl. " I told her one day she'd laugh.

"Not likely."

"Well...your kids will if you ever tell them about it."

My son chimed in at this point. "Yeah," he said, "I'll make sure your kids know all about it!"

Kids are so much fun.


Rick said...

The line that wins it for me: "Hey, kid, you're under the mistaken notion that YOU are the favorite."

Wins me love all the time.

Todd said...

I still stick with "pull my finger."

Martha said...

Those birds scare me. There is a lake close to Meg's house and we take Quincy there to feed those geese - I don't like getting close to them at all.