Sunday, August 9, 2009
The Dog Next Door
My neighbors have a beautiful black lab which, through the wonders of the modern day doggie door, has free and unfettered access to their backyard. This dog also has an abnormally large pair of lungs. How do I know this? Because it barks nonstop. What is it barking at? The wind. Birds. The grass. The silence. Random voices I'm sure it's hearing in its head. It's driving me nuts. Any suggestions on dealing with this? I've contemplated shooting it with my pellet gun. I've got a sniper position picked out in my upstairs bedroom window. Hot water tossed over the back fence--I'm sure that would only serve to whip it up into an inconsolable frenzy. Tainted meat? Hmmmm...
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4 comments:
$%#&! BUMPUSES!!!
The barking dog. Too bad they don't have the well-mannered black lab that we do. Your sniper scenario might work, but I'd recommend artillery more potent that pellets.
I knew a guy who would stuff Nightol into hotdog weiners and toss them over the fence to his neighbor's dog at night. Just don't get confused and accidentally give him Viagra instead.
Steve, I feel your pain. Had one of these situations in Valdosta. While I never did it, they do have devices that look like bird houses but give off a high pitch sound every time a bark is detected. Saw it in an airline mag once.
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