Sunday, May 11, 2008

A Manly Skill

I was at the gym the other day and had just finished a particular exercise and was walking away to the next when I was accosted by a woman. "Aren't you going to wipe that machine down," she said. I stared blankly at her for a moment and said, "Ahhh, sure." Grabbing a nearby disposable wipe, I dutifully wiped down the seat and back pads of the machine I had just used. Justifiably chastised, I watched this woman over the next half hour move to various machines doing her workout and noticed that after every workout she would diligently wipe each machine down. I then conducted a totally non-scientific observation of both men and women at the gym at came to the conclusion that women are much more concerned about hygiene than men.

I think perhaps it's something in the male brain which allows us to switch off feelings of disgust that arise from immediately following a sweaty man on an exercise machine. Women, it would seem, are incapable of ignoring incidences like this. Other times this ability comes in handy are:

- Taking a drink of soda after your child without doing the "floaty check"
- Using a public bathroom toilet right after someone else and not caring that the seat is still warm
- Tossing a smelly shirt into the dryer for a quick warm up because "it's got one more day left in it"
- Letting your dog lick your face (no telling what it was licking 10 minutes ago)

A handy skill indeed. I've found that sometimes ignorance is bliss. It's just better not to think about those things and just press on.

Any other ideas of when this most manly of skills comes in handy?


Chuck said...

We need to get one of our friends to write a delete scene from Rocky where he forgets to wipe something down and gets acosted by Mickey.

My usual response is: "nah, that's why I pay my dues so the staff can wipe the machine down."

And of course, the most manly of all manly skills is the ability to Pee standing up.

Thank you, I am here all week.

Alan said...

I admire you for taking it like a man. In retrospect, here are some things you could have said to her in return:
-Wipe this down.
-I was going to wipe it down when you got on it.
-I did wipe it down...with my sweaty butt.
-Sure, might I borrow your t-shirt.
-I understand your concern, but I'm not the fat, sweaty lady here.

On second thought, your response was right on...

James said...

My dog will happily lick your face.

Todd said...

Laughing with teary eyes at Alan's replies...